Being an Upstander

One of the education sessions at New Voices New Rooms this month which received extra attention and feedback from booksellers was Responding to Hate -- a special event where booksellers shared their strategies for dealing with aggression from their communities and sometimes even their customers. NVNR Attendees can now watch the session by logging on to NVNR's Attendee Hub.

Discussion ranged from the general, like creating, sharing, and implementing store mission statements, to the practical, such as always having at least two staff people in the store, to the situational, such as how to tell when a volatile situation can be deescalated, and when it has to be shut down for the safety of everyone involved. One of the resources posted during the session was the Center for Anti-Violence Education (CAE)'s Upstander: Responding to Microaggressions Workshop hosted by the ABA, especially the accompanying"Bystander Intervention" handout.

A bystander, as the word itself makes clear, is someone who stands by. An Upstander is someone who does not. An upstander choses to get involved:

• Takes action when they see an act of intolerance.
  
• Speaks or acts in support of an individual or cause, intervening on behalf of a person being attacked or bullied.
  
• Actively works to create an anti-oppressive world.

The term was originally coined as a way for students to confront bullying behavior in school. But the concept has also been applied to other kinds of injustices by encouraging people to speak up and intervene when they see a person being attacked. Being an upstander requires a shift in the way we are trained to think and act. As store owners and staff we were likely encouraged to appease aggressive customers and suppress uncomfortable situations.

But that might not be an option if an employee or another customer is being harassed or threatened. So how do you take action? When do you take action? What do you do?

The Bystander Intervention handout available from the ABA's Upstander session addresses the "What." It has a checklist of possible actions, of things to do to discourage bullying behavior, or to utilize when you intervene to stop an injustice.

The other valuable handout available, "Calling In Strategies," addresses the "How" and "When." This handout works as a kind of self-assessment both you and your staff can use to determine if you are the right person to step into an uncomfortable situation, and how to do so as safely as possible.

Here are some simple ways to be an upstander from The Bully Project, an initiative to reduce school bullying by encouraging students to step in when they see a student being attacked:

1. Help others who are being bullied. Be a friend, even if this person is not yet your friend. Go over to him. Let them know how you think they are feeling.

2. Stop untrue or harmful messages from spreading. If someone tells you a rumor that you know is untrue or sends you a message that is hurtful to someone else, stand up and let the person know this is wrong.

3. Make friends outside of your circle. Reach out to someone who is alone. Show support for a person who is upset by asking them what is wrong

4. Refuse to be a “bystander”. If you see friends laughing along with a bully or a bigot, call them on it.

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Note: Some of the links to resources mentioned in this article require a log in to member-only areas of New Voices New Rooms and the American Booksellers Association. Booksellers who do not have accounts with those entities can reach out to SIBA for help.